As we discussed last week, the most common meaning behind the “sex with the ex” dream is a need to rekindle the excitement in your intimate life. Once you take action on your dream’s gentle nudging, and continue to change it up and keep it interesting, the ex boyfriend (or girlfriend) won’t need to pay you another visit… that is unless the ex still has a role in your life, such as an ex spouse! If you deal with the ex spouse on a regular basis then your inner mind is very likely alerting you to an issue with that specific person and, as always, you will need to look at what happened the day before the dream in order to pinpoint the issue.For example, my client Nick, who is 35, divorced but now remarried had been having recurring dreams that he and his ex wife were having a torrid affair! This was quite a head scratcher for him because he does not get along with his ex wife at all!
I asked him if she was still in his life due to children and he said yes.I assured him that the dreams do not mean he has a secret desire to bed his ex but that instead, his wise dreaming mind was encouraging him to… ahem “come together” with her on some level, for the sake of their kids. Deep down he knows it is unhealthy for the kids to know that Mommy and Daddy hate each other. I told him, “Just as two bodies during sex come together and work in rhythm, like a well oiled machine, so do you and the ex need to work together in rhythm like a well oiled parenting machine. When you are able to do this, the dreams will stop.” Nick got the message loud and clear and made extra effort to get along with his wife. This not only made the dreams stop, it helped his current marriage as well because it allowed him to let go of the anger and resentment from the first marriage. The exes we tend to have naughty dreams about the most are our first love, an ex we still have ties to because of children or other circumstances or the ex that most recently broke our heart. Dreaming of the ex that broke your heart can be a sign that you are stuck emotionally and have not allowed yourself to move on. These dreams are a clear indication that you have not healed in which case the dreams will continue until you let go and leave the past in the past. It is impossible to move forward while you are still holding on to what is behind you. In a nutshell, the message of the ex dream is this: Depending on which ex you shagged in your dream, it is either time to merge the passion of long ago into the relationship of now or time to merge your efforts together for the sake of a common goal such as your children. If the ex is someone you are still pining for then it is best to de-merge (let it freaking go already) and realize this person is an ex for a reason. Have you been having naughty or strange dreams about your ex spouse? Share them in the comments below. Stay tuned because next week we’ll talk about sex dreams about a friend or co-worker!